Fear. My whole life is guided by it.
I pull and pull at the weeds
Trying to remove them from my life
But right when I think I’ve removed
The last impediment in my way forward.
A new, stronger weed grows right up
In its stead, whispering quiet words
In my ear…for more, more food
Asking for my most precious resource,
My dreams.
written – 12/14/2018
When I was a child, I never thought I’d reach twenty-five,
I’d just never felt all that alive.
When I reached the age I’d never thought so,
I will admit for a while – it was touch and go.
Now that age I’ve moved beyond,
To life I’ve grown attached, grown fond.
But sometimes in the deep dark of night,
It can be hard to see the light.
The child once more takes hold,
And I feel like I’ll never know what it’s like to be old.
To be sure, I must admit I don’t want to die,
But, my old self, I’ve never seen in my mind’s eye.
My constant companion,
Never far from sight,
Always there for just in case,
How rarely you see the light.
An Idea of what could be, a future
For the two of us, you and me.
Grand plans created so alive in my mind.
In reality, likely never to be.
Untold stories trapped,
So many of them locked inside so deep.
Fear of Failure – lies told – doubt of oneself in truth.
Your unblemished pages, yours to keep.
akervand 